click click click – watch, dedication from jae scott, washington.

& mom, from the bottom of my heart, thankyou.
]]> http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/i-made-it-this-video-is-all/feed/ 0 gharris0n http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/613/ http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/613/#comments Sat, 03 Apr 2010 16:16:06 +0000 gharris0n http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/613/ ]]> i dedicate this blog to my hero, my mother, without her i am nothing and no one.

i love you mum.

]]> http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/613/feed/ 0 gharris0n http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/2010/03/20/605/ http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/2010/03/20/605/#comments Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:19:53 +0000 gharris0n http://gharris0n.wordpress.com/?p=605 ]]> i write this from hollywood, i made it.

dedicated to mum.

____________

“GINA!
your amazing! i thank YOU for showing me that it can be done. you have put your all into it. things will pay off. i pray when you get there it will feel like home.i pray when you get there job’s will be opened at your dancing feet haha. i pray when you get there you will be as humbled as ever and tell your great story to the ones that never had or might never have a chance to step fun in LA. be inspired and inspire others. be Blessed sis.
I
♥
YOU!”
-jae scott (DC)

“Heyyyyy,
I don’t even know you but i want you to succeed because your like the definition of drive… hard work starts NOW…. your literally gonna kill it out there… keep me updated, i’ll be facebook stalking you :)
“Remember when you not practicing, somebody out there is, and when you meet them, they will win” :)
BEST OF LUCK! xxx”

“You are great and you don’t know it yet, you are the type of person kids that want to do what you do will aspire to be like. Your work ethic, your dedication is only matched by other greats in all fields. I’m talkin about people like david beckham, people like michael jordan, people like muhammed ali….you can only be great if you step beyond the boundry and strive for the ulimate success and you Gina you are my number one and when you make it not if when you make it I will be there for you!

Simple put like drake says “Don’t be surprised that I won”

You are me, you are everything people should be like!

Love you so much

Atem xxx”

“YESSSSSSSSSS LLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
GINA YOU ARE MY INSPARATION!!!!!!!!!
THERE IS NO WAY I COULD SAVE THAT
MUCH MONEY TO LIVE IN LA!!!! WELL
ME SEEING YOU DO IT IS SOO UGH DOPE!… Read More
YOUR WORKING FOR YOUR DREAMS MAN
AND ITS WORKING:) I WILL DEFF BE IN LA
WITH YOU SIS!!” –  jae!

“Ok so not long left.
Till you fly to your dream.
That’s when you really start living.
Make the most of it dude, because you’ve worked so hard for it. Literally worked your ass off. But wherever you go there’s gonna be some haters, so if people chat shit. you know what to do. Keep your head up like your nose is bleeding.
and tell them to come see me :D
Come back and show me how DOPE you are. And shove what everyone’s been saying back in their faces.
You will be incredible. Keep believing. Don’t give up. Live your dream.
I will miss you like crazy; ♥ .X

P.s. I’m listening to your song.”
- maz cullen

“jut finish reading your blog and i must admit i got emotional tk spin summer school change me as well i feel so different about dance now so thanks for u reminding me and everyone that was there what dance can do for u.. and make u feel love.. ur words r really heart felt woman thank u and ill c u @ the top and guest wot dont stop till u get enough infat never stop loving what u doing even if it gets tough okay?”  max fernando ordonez ramirez

“OOOMG!! your the best sis!!

ugh lol love you man!!

you make me work harder cuz i see you working harder!
i can NOT wait to train with you either it is going to
be such in amazing experience!! im blessed to have you
as a friend…we are going to do great things and go farther
then anyone would expect us to go!! keep working hard Gina
than you thank you thank you for the shout out it means A LOT
to me!! NOW GET DOWN HERE AND LETS DO THIS!! haha love
you sis be blessed!!” – jae.

“I will miss you too I am not good in good byes with people I love so tried to make it quck but I am with you !!! you are a beautifull and clever young woman and whatever you do don’t let your self down follow your dreams and make them happen. I know you will make me proud I am thinking of you as my baby !! Yor mum has done a brilliant job raising you. Be carefull out there don’t trust everyone watch your back and whatever you want just go for it!!
I will be here waiting for my liplinerssss and bits of face as promised :)) Love you baby
xxxxxxxx “

“dudeeee we still need to get ice cream sometime
andd you need to take a breath. and a break

if anything happens i will come back from iran and bitch slap you. :P i joke
but yeahhh you need the rest.
anddd forget the haterssss. they make you stronger. they’d love to see you fall. but once you make it they’ll be bumming you quicktime.
and you will make it. the people that matter, know that.
it’s mind over matter, you don’t mind and they dont matter”
-maz

“ve just read ur profile an the way u speak about dancing makes me realise how much i need to dance. i try to block it out because i never went down that path and have realy good prospects in wot iv commited to. but every now and then ill hear something or see sum1 dance and i just feel like im cheating myself out of who i realy am. its probally the only constant desire iv had since i can remember. knowing that ur living my dream makes me question what i realy need to do. the only way i can decribe it is that there is sumthing big inside me that can only be expressed through dance. there is no bullshit with dancing it is wot it is.

thanx for the inspiration although im abit confused as u can probaly tell. x”

“hi gina.
im littebit drunked now. sorry. are you going to LA? what a hell r u do there? dancing??? or serving coleslaw ???:D:D ahahaha. anyway, NEVER forget. you are the best. i love you!!! please give me a signature if you will be a famous SUPERSTAR!!! i wish you the best! and hope u will be happy forever. u deserve it, because you are the best!”- hahahahaah laslooo

“gina your amazing thats amazing what you wrote then thats gonna stay in my laptop so anytime that i need boosting up or need idvice im gonna read that because its really auctaly all true. X”

“hey beautiful!!! jus wanted to say well done 4 all ur hard work the last 2 weeks!
its been in a real pleasure workin with ya hun!
ur a star in the making believe me! keep training hard!
n i’ll hope to see ya bout soon! take care sweetie!!
love ya!!! x” – simeon campell

“i read your blog,and i just gotta say you’ve inspired me soo much,you proving that if you work hard enough your gonna get there and your ignoring the haters the people that put you down i love it. so yeah thanks..i need someone to write it out in book form so i can take it everywere with me whenever i need a pick me up!” monique hurrell

“everyone is afraid of things they dont know, the decision you have to make is are you willing to risk everything for the possibility of gettin everything you ever dreamed of.

you have a soul, from what i know of you its a pretty amazing one aswell but your numb because that is your defence, it keeps you safe, it lets you do things that other people could not.

stick with it, keep the faith, i cant believe its only 8 weeks, u gotta take that bet and believe it’s gonna pay off, everyone is here rooting for you, and either way the people who really care will always be there!

peace x”

April Rodriguez.. you choosing to perfom at IDC changed me and my life, i could never explain to you…
KYLE HANAGAMI, ELLEN KIM, ERIK SARADPON..
training with you guys all your support and words.. kyle.. ellen.. ill never forget, you gave me a courage and faith in myself that i will always keep close to me, you are the fuel that burns inside me, thankyou.
IAN EASTWOOD, NICK DEMOURA, you guys have no idea!!! you are more than inspiration.

i leave for LA in 13 days, its finally come.

“Look at what I done
Look at where I’m is
It’s only just begun
Cause I was staying home
When they was having fun
So please don’t be surprised when they announce that I won
And this is how my speech goes
I deserve this shit, I deserve this shit, I deserve this shit
That’s all I got to say, at the top is where I stay
And tell my haters never go away
The Winner” -drake.

yesterday i left work; i left the hospital id been at all this time, every patient, every drop of blood, every emergency, 15  hour shifts, every theatre, the smell of burning flesh.. every surgeon that had taught me.. everything, i left. it didnt feel like i had said bye to anything though, just hello to the rest of my life. it was random that i got a job as a surgical assistant really, i just wanted $$$$ and i wanted to get out, i told myself id feel nothing, just go and work then leave, what i got from being in theatres every single day, i can never replace; i saw the line between line and death and learnt more about myself that i could have ever expected, that i am truely thankful for. im actually proud of me for the first time in my life, i did it, i didnt think id be able to go through everything i went through at work and just how many sacrifices i made,  turned myself on autopilot, now its time to turn myself back on. it just goes to show, like drake said, ‘it was worth it, it was all worth it’ ..

“the one who works the hardest always wins’  - will smith.

“It doesn’t matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn’t matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years – we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.”
- Sharon Salzberg

click to enlarge, ya dig

funny how one thing can sum up your entire existance, this is literally the beginning to my life.
everything i have ever lived and worked for.
everything i will begin to live for.
everything i want.
everything.

’24 hours from greatness
i’m that close to
don’t ever forget the moment
you began to doubt
transitioning from fitting in to standing out
los angeles, cabanas or atlanta south’

‘…&you still make it even when they say your flights closed.’

one thing that stays the same,  dance in my blood, i love this feeling.
now all i gotta do is realise i can have it all.

g
-x-

It was worth it it was all worth it
&  by this time I understand that I ain’t perfect’ – DRAKE.

‘Gina, you’re miles away…’
Funny really.
I dedicate this post to everyday that  i trade ‘i cant’ for ‘i can’,  2009, 2010, Hope Hospital, the switch that turns me back on,  my dream, dance in my blood,  the people that have been my fuel throughout everything ;  atem eyong, ian eastwood, jae scott, maz cullen, sami ngeow, zak gold…& mum, you are amazing.

9 weeks till LA.

Have you ever been scared of knowing you’re achieving everything you’ve ever wanted? That everything you’ve be

en though is gonna be worth it?  Sounds crazy right…
Up until this point right now.. 23:25pm (after speaking to Jae Scott and Atem, and listening to Drake), ive been recently feeling like a shell of who i am, however tonight after any exhanged words,  adorations, hopes, truths, dreams and lyrics, i finally feel revived.. i knew i was in there somewhere!  i could never have let this get the better of me, i need to channel my energy something more than trying to dig myself  out of a whole i dug myself in through mentally and physically exhausting myself to the point i forget who i am.   i have come to the simple conclusion that its because im so close to where i need to be..im just so overwhelmed by everything. for a while i spent so much time blocking all my feelings out and living a pretence that enabled me to do things that i felt were beyond me  in work, dance, friendship and love.  We all put walls up that stop us getting hurt, or do they ? Do they just restrict us from feeling things we should and NEED, rather than stopping us get hurt, sometimes getting hurt it good, thats life. And sometimes the pain stops… theres no need for anymore of it, its gone, i guess thats what i have to accept; ive been through the worst, its my time now, i just gotta realise i can have it all, i got it all; you’d think happiness would be easy to accept..  apparently not?!
Maybe this is what they mean when they say ‘The calm after the storm’,

i will continue to grow as a humble person and performer, dancer, working hard every single day.  i just need to have that bit of confidence in myself to know i deserve this and embrace it, aparantly im ‘too hard on myself’, man, in my eyes, in this life you need to be but i know to be happy i gotta be proud of what i already achieved.. and how im almost there, i need to realise that i made myself, i gotta embrace all this now, its all on me from here, its all up. & im so thankful to everyone that has been apart of this.. you know who you are.

___________”It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find

it elsewhere”
I got it!! I got it all.. almost all.. figured out.

My soul is so strong and my believe and faith is something that i will always have, i always have that at the back of my mind (and here) and it gives me a security that i could never replace. I guess,   dance and that belief is all i really had and have, as you have probably read, it was and is my fuel that kept me going through anything. With this sense of security, i knew i could do anything because my believe is so strong, i have so much tenacity and that overrules all my other feelings, i have so much love for dance, i felt i couldnt love anyone else, i became lonely. Looking back, i guess this is really something i had to do on my own, this whole journey, work, training, everything, i did it all on my own. I guess at time maybe too on my own, but i know no different, ive always been ‘on my own’, its easier that way.. right? suddenly when you get a bunch of people around you that you’re not used to, and praise.. its scary, people are scared of what they dont know, so happiness.. yeah im scared, i never had it, i think thats why i was tryna reject it. messed up, right ? Im not letting myself be afraid no more, thats not my style.
I thought i felt invincible for so long, working 12 hour days in theatre, as you can probably imagine..  i see a lot of stuff, i have to deal with things that at times, i feel are completely beyond me, i handle human lives that are put on operating lists.. fickle..
this is what it all amounts to; ive met so many people that don’t appreciate what they have or what they could of had, im not about to be that guy – ‘shoulda woulda coulda’ nuh-huh no way. i am so honoured and privileged to work with some of the most amazing surgeons and doctors in the UK,  i would never guess it would be here id learn how precious and fucking crazy life is, i mean i just came to make me so money right? wrong. it’s completely changed everything about me. What ive learnt working in surgery every day is something that will stay with me and that i will truly cherish forever. Nevertheless, it has had a huge impact on my emotions, for so long, i turned every one of my feelings off because for me, this was easier. I was on autopilot for months and months, my body was tired, my mind was tired and needless to say, my soul was tired; one thing that stayed the same was my faith and my belief and love in dance, LA.  I’m here, i’ve come so far already and im not even there, so yeah, my ‘autopilot’ way of dealing with things worked to some extent, but i gotta admit, no im ready to wake up and now its 9 weeks to LA, im finding it somewhat difficult to switch on the feelings that i so long ago turned off. I couldn’t explain to atem how i was feeling but i guess its exactly that, i turned off a switch to all my emotions so that i could do things that could have been difficult if i let them, but im so ruthless  its not only others opinions on how i do things that don’t count, its my own; i overruled my own feelings and ended up loosing myself. Again, the only thing i have and need is my belief, ‘i can, i am.’ Its only up until recently that ive  wanted so hard to turn back on the switch that isolated me from emotions that help to build my soul, and its proving to be difficult. I also come to realise what the word ‘sacrifice’ means and it sometimes scares me how much im willing to give of myself and my life for dance. At times it feels im non existent here because im leaving soon so what relevance does any of this have ? Not true… It’s strange, its the butterfly effect, every little thing we do and choose creates our future and our soul, so we need to cherish everything.. With this, i have so much racing though my mind i dont know whats winning, i dont know what to choose to feel now, but i’ll pick myself up, remembering Kyle’s words to me.. im strong, all that i know is that i start my life in 9 weeks in the place im meant to be, training to my limits that seem to be non existent.. becoming the person im meant to be and know i will be, until then, im gonna fix ‘pretty wings’ like Maxwell told me to.

___________’Life is such a fuckin’ rollercoaster then it drops..but what should i scream for, this is my themepark!”

i gotta admit though, im scared, im petrified, but im ecstatic, im built myself around this and itself around me.. damn this game is hard .. but i never wanna stop playing because i wanna win.

note:  ”thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened; happiness never decresase by being shared.” - BUDDHA.

“But once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream.”

P.s. I’m listening to your song.”
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